I looked in the mirror today, and what I saw shocked me. I almost didn't recognize myself. It's not a vanity thing. Although I've been plenty guilty of being vain. It is France, after all. It's a grief thing.
I look now like I looked the first 6 months (okay 18 months) after we moved here. Jeans, t-shirt, no make up, crappy hair. And I was out in public.
I am grieving. And I look like it.
I am sad. More than I could have EVER imagined. But I think it's okay to be sad.
Every now and then I get an anonymous commenter on here who tells me I'M GOING TO HELL because I'm sad. They say that being sad means I'm not trusting God's plan for my life. Yeah? That's crap.
So I'm going to be sad. And in the midst of that sadness I'm going to rejoice in the beauty and the amazing friendships of my life here.
And if I go to hell for that, then that's messed up.
Isn't that right, Kerri?