Monday, June 06, 2011

43 days

That's how many days we have left in France. So today, I write through the tears that fall like rain. 43 days isn't enough time. When we made the decision last summer to move back to the US, 12 months seemed like eternity. It has passed like the blink of an eye. And I am not ready. I am not ready to let go, move on, find another adventure. Whatever you want to call it, I am not ready.
Maybe I am just overwhelmed with the amount of things that must be done. I feel as if my entire life revolves around cleaning and packing and driving the children to and from school. There are so many phone calls, emails, etc. that must be taken care of. NOW.
There are the painful decisions about what to take back with us and what to leave. A 20 foot moving container is almost $10,000. So we must limit what we pack. We have no place to live in Colorado. No car. The list seems endless. But those are just things that need to be done.
What grieves me, truly, are the people we will leave. I will not be here when my sweet friend Anita has her new baby. I won't have coffee anymore with Kristen while we watch our daughters roller blade. Alexandra will miss her best friend Ashleigh more than she can say. And Olivia. Sweet, Olivia. With her darling group of girlfriends at school. Chantal, Jasmine, Ellie, Gabby, Sabrina, Vanessa. She will miss them all so very much.
So many friends. So much love.
And I am not ready to leave.

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